I had two crying episodes because I’m falling for him by the second, I’m receiving no answers on what to do next, and I can’t take it anymore and it’s weighing heavy on me. I need all the advice I can get because anxiety is no fun at all
Seems to me you regret rejecting him.
There are missing pieces to this puzzle and something that I need you and all women to understand.
Healthy heterosexual men and women; can’t just be friends for extended periods of time.
You haven’t at all indicated your general level of attraction towards him only that you now have anxiety.
Now, I’m going to go out on a limb, but that regret you feel may not be due to infatuation in the since of typical attraction.
This guy gave you attention, security, someone to talk to and possibly emotional support through all of it the time you’ve been talking. You can’t help but feel you should reciprocate that or that you’ve burned a bridge.
The anxiety affecting you now is, possibly your fear of losing him as you said he hasn’t displayed any red flags which means that could possibly be a big chunk of positivity in your life. Essentially, he is emotional validation.
So I—we need to know in definite words how you feel about him and now how you feel because of him.
The only bit I gleaned is that you are falling for him.
Anxiety is a serious issue. One not to be taken lightly. Because of past experiences you definitely want to protect yourself. But we do have feelings and emotions and they at times rears its head. Since you’re preoccupied with this notion and feeling, you have to trust yourself. If you cannot weigh everything to your satisfaction insecurity curiosity etc it will consume you. You have to put your best foot forward and trust you are the best judge of character by being you and not holding back. If you are all you say you are then if they are true to themselves it will come out. By being all of you with every nuance behavior mannerisms etc if they cannot deal with you then they cannot deal with themselves. It’s not what’s wrong with you on the contrary its what’s right with you. Everything requires work. Nothing is easy even when you think it is it requires time and effort. Once motivation drive interest and lack of agreement on many issues by not seeing eye to eye gives you enough information to proceed or not. We have hearts love compassion and so on. But if they like you they will go out of their way all the time. If that interests even dips there’s a reason. Communication is detrimental to survival and longevity. You should be able to talk about anything and if you can’t you can’t grow. Even at a snail’s pace everything grows if not then it just stands still.
Frankly, here is what I can offer. I think you need to be brave (and only you can be brave enough to stand tall, even when inside you may feel quite small) and if you have enough courage and you feel ready. Speak to him face-to-face… But, only if you feel comfortable, tell him that you have dating anxiety.
Option No. 2: If you are too overwhelmed and anxious, talk it over with your closest and most trusted friend and see what they say.
You are just nerveous, it’s normal especially if you like someone. Don’t try to diagnose yourself with a mental illness.
I went to the doctor already I have anxiety way before this situation.
Well you rejected him so he probably moved on so if u want him you are going to have to put in effort to get him back
What? Look , if you like him then go ahead and do everything to grab him , if you don’t like him then be neutral and pet a dog to relive yourself of all the stress.
Talk to him. Admit the anxiety issues and go from their.
I guess having that anxiety in u on your first date, can at least teach u how it feels for the very first time… i guess after that date, you won’t even stop thinking about it.
If you have dating anxiety, you shouldn’t date… It’s for the best,
I know from personal experience… It will just be awkward
the most common causes of anxiety within relationships/dating are mostly linked to bad history of experiences, as we go through our lives we will meet honest and not so honest people, some will be healthy for us and others will be purely out to get whatever they want to satiate their own needs and not be interested in returning the favour…
and bad experiences with the latter will inevitably question any future connection with other people and the severity of that depends on the seriousness of the damage those people caused… if he hasn’t given you any red flags or any reason to doubt him or his intent then talk to him and explain to him how you feel and how you feel about him and the situation and if he cares about you he will understand and be patient with you
Firstly, you’re walking a dangerous line right now lady. Lemme tell you from experience, infatuation while having anxiety is more stressful that it’s worth.
Secondly, I think it’s time for you to take a step back and realize that it isn’t the end of the world. You’re not gonna die or get hurt from being a friend. That’s all you are anyways, friend (in this case, they’re a friend you happen to have a crush on).
Thirdly, talk about your feelings with someone else. Even if they give you crappy advice, at least you won’t have to fight your battle alone. Remember, when it comes to anxiety, you are literally your own worst enemy. Everything you are thinking is just that, a thought, nothing more.
If you figure it out, let me know. I have a friend who is going through this.
it’s normal, fear gives a bad impression to the person you like.
keep calm and go on a date.
So you friendzoned a guy and now you want him when you had the opportunity before but didn’t take it? Why should he give you the time of day now? What’s to stop him from friendzoning you the way you did him? If I were him I would. If a woman doesn’t take the opportunity the first time around very seldomly do I give them a second chance and even then I regret it afterwards for them wasting my time. If I were him I wouldn’t even bother. You made your bed now you lie in it. Choke it up as a learning experience and move on with your life
Ok here’s my advice. He needs to run! Not walk. Run as fast as he can away from you. Because you are completely out of your mind.
Pain is a part of life. How you deal with it, is another thing
I’m actually in a similar situation, and you gotta just go for it. Even be open about how you felt before and what’s changed up until now. Just because you weren’t into it the first time around doesn’t mean things/people can’t change. You got this! Just try. The mindset I like to have in this situation is, our time here is limited. People are constantly changing and growing, so when you get an opportunity, don’t think, just do! 🙂 We spend so much time over thinking and analyzing.
Your too obsessed and you need to stop. You are not ready for a relationship, and your reactions are signs of fear, not because you want a relationship with him. You fear that you will NEVER date somebody because of your fears. Listen to what your heart is trying to tell you. There is a reason why you feel like your going to get hurt again. Do what makes you happy right now. There is no rush for you to get into a relationship and into something your not ready for. Do you want to make him miserable because you can’t get it emotionally together? Only you can be responsible for you. He cannot be catering to everything you don’t have unless he wants to. But now he has to be responsible for that. You are in no position to be dating. Dating with all of that baggage and anxiety is a big no-no. You want to that badly, go seek counseling. They cannot help you, but they can give you some guidance into understanding yourself and getting to the root cause of your problems.
I have same anxiety and just embraced it a month ago. I am a bit busy right now I will share you my experience later. You are not alone in this.
I totally understand that situation, been there myself, it is hard to let someone in your heart and give them the power to hurt you, but then again, relationships and love always involve a risk. It is an integral part of life, living in fear is not living at all so don’t let it control you. You would miss out on so many experiences, good or bad, they are all valuable. You are stronger than that fear, trust me, so go there and chase your happiness. Just live and see what happens. I pushed these bad feelings away, took that leap of faith and have not regretted it even for a second, even if it is not forever, I will be forever grateful for the memories I have made now. 🙂
I think you need take a chance and tell him and eat crow.
Take some Pepto Bismo and you’ll get over it.
Talk to him about your fears. If he knows what you’re worried about, maybe he’ll understand you better. I think you should go for it 🙂 it sounds like you like this guy. Invite him to coffee or something chill and enjoy your time together.
I hope this helps!
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